communciation, a headache

Communication is a very useful tool that often used by people to have more understanding of others, to build relationship and to share information and knowledge. But things have never made perfect, even the diamond is not flawless. There is a quote that said by Leonard Cohen:




Ring the bells that still can ring

Forget your perfect offering.

There is a crack in everything,

That's how the light gets in.

~Leonard Cohen



Indeed, there is a crack in everything, let alone communication. Communication is actually a headache in our life because it has caused so much conflict in between human being. Why do people have arguments? It is because of communication! Why do people have misunderstanding? It is because of communication! And why do people have hatred? It is because of communication! And today, I will tell you how communication is being a headache to us.



The first point I would like to emphasize on is: communication is being a headache when there is language differences. Why so? First of all, have you all not realized that when you all are sitting with a group of strangers that speak with different tongue, you will not talk at all? Its being a headache to us as we do not know how to approach them and how to start a conversation. It’s even worst that if we speak the wrong thing and they take it in the wrong way. Some of you might have a little knowledge on other spoken languages, like some of us know a little about Japanese language or Korean language. But that does not mean that problem is solved. How would you know that the way you interpret their language is the same way as yours? Accurate translation with unfamiliar absent is another problem too. When meaning is misinterpreted, that is where you start scratching your head, and conflicts (dandruff) falling down.

The second point of today’s topic is: communication is being a headache when overly hostile stereotypes are being used in conversation. For your information, stereotypes are generalizations about a group of people whereby we attribute a defined set of characteristics to this group. For example: people who wear spectacle are nerd or people who are fat will be very good in bouncing. Now, doesn’t matter we realized or we have not, we use stereotype very often in our life and in our conversation and we are really good in stereotyping. Even sometimes by looking at a person, we are stereotyping. Stereotyping is actually a weapon which is able to lower down one people’s pride and hurt a people from the inside whether it is used to you or to me. And when overly hostile stereotyping is used, it triggers the “red button” (the danger button) in our emotion. We will feel hurtful and angry at the same time, causing us to be hostile toward the person who used the weapon against us. And now, stereotyping has become the kicker of a fight and conflicts start bubbling up like the hot lava.



Last but not least, the last point which I will stress on is: communication is being a headache when there is misinterpretation of communication. As learned in the model of communication, it is known that communication consist of two parts: the encoder/sender and the decoder/receiver. When the sender/encoder sends something to another person, the person who received the message which is the receiver/decoder has to decode or interpret the message based on his own understanding. And under the model of communication, there are two types of communication: verbal and non-verbal communication. If verbal communication is practice, the tone of voice will be the factor affecting how the message is being interpret. Given a situation, let’s say a person said: “You seem very busy now huh” to two different people and in different manners. Both of them will interpret the actual meaning of the sentence in different way. One might think the person is actually giving him concern about his work and offering him help when this sentence is said in a friendly way. Another one might think the person is actually being sarcastic as he is actually not working at that moment when the sentence is said in disapproving tone. If non-verbal communication is being practiced, then the gesture of a person and the facial expression of the person are the main factors affecting the way of the message being interpreted. Using the same example back then, if the gesture of a person seems open and friendly and the expression looks kind, he will then interpret it as an express on concern from the person. If the gesture of the person seems closed and cold and he can see the “dark cloud” on his face, he will then interpret it as him being sarcastic and angry at that moment. So you see, there are many factors you have to consider before you said anything, thus it is being a headache. If you happen to use the wrong way to convey your message, actual meaning of the message has being misinterpreted, misunderstanding will arise and there you will see conflicts running towards you.



All in all, can you all see how communication is being a headache to us? If you ask me whether I think communication is a headache or not, I would definitely say: Yes! Communication is definitely a headache to us. At the end of the speech, I would not ask you all to stop communicating as it is not possible, but whatever comes out from your mouth, that is what matters the most. Think before you communicate, that can cut you down some headache.